Friday Truth Day

Friday ... Truth Day for me... well it is everyday but today is 3 months blood test and I know I have not been very good... since March.. there has been seven birthdays, Easter, Lobster season.... the kids being here ... those are all the excuses and I am sticking to them... but in truth I am a weak individual with no will power to either walk away or just say no thank you maybe some other time...
I am sitting at the computer this morning while I was waiting for my 2 hours to go by and I was shocked to realize how many time my hand went to pick up a cup of tea that was not there...which is always there every moment of the day...
Mom's candy dish is a curse in itself... since there is always pieces of chocolate in it... I walk pass it when I first come in and give myself a little tap on the back but if I am there for any length of time and go by it several times I leave with at least 1 piece.... I am weak and have no self control...
Normally except for Coke which is being weaned out of the house as we speak... meaning that I get one can a day for the next few weeks... because like anything else I am ugly when I don't have it... there is no sweets in the house... we don't bake anything knowing that it wouldn't last the day in this house... there is no chips or chocolate in the house... because we would eat it until it is gone... if we want a chip a small bag is bought and shared that goes for chocolate a bar is bought it shared until Matthew came home and comes in with bags of chips and dip and you know darn well I am not going to pass up dipping my hand in there several times before the bag is gone...
I have no will power and will always be a junk food junkie for the rest of my life... every time I go do groceries it is a fight on my hands not to walk out of the store with all those great things... like cookies, junk food, ice cream... pancake mix... corn syrup.... a wonderful sugar pie which I have not had in years but the thought has been there...
The truth is if I don't get my act into gear I never going to get my blood sugar count down which means that I am heading to big trouble...
And how bad was it this morning after two hours waiting... as I went out of the house I had a Tim's cup filled with my red tea so when the test was done it will be there ready for me when I get in the car.... boy that is bad... worst if it was a coke... at least it was tea...

Joanne