Going to Be A Nanna Again... WOW Fast huh!!!!

So now that it is official... I can say something... like is there any fun in that... there is also a correction on one of the last blogs... Rebecca`s little bean is not the youngest of the great grandchildren... Amanda`s bean is... And I am going to be a grandmother again and to think 2 years ago I didn`t think I was ever going to be one...

So like I have always told the twins the oldest you learn from ... the second and third in my case you correct your mistakes... so this time I am not going into the baby knitting nutty thing... I am still working on three size 4 sweaters for Caleb... so until I get the second official word from Robin and Amanda (because the last time the first one was wrong) as to what the baby is I am not going out and getting yarn of any kind or picking up anything for bean number 2...

The blog that was started this morning:

I was just told it was the first day of summer...Wow I thought the first day of Spring was not that long ago... Up until today for the last few months time seem to be going way too slow for me...

While waiting for my car to get its check up I thought I would start the blog... the last week has been a roller coaster of emotions... and it is not stopping very much... one minute all is great the next minute Carl is wondering what he did to get me going again... the poor man has had to put up with all of this... thank God he is a good man....

I guess I start it off in the morning because for the longest time I would get up and as I am getting my glasses to move around there always have been a thank you for allowing me to get up to face another day and that my mom and dad are still in my life... now for the moment it is thoughts of mom... and how I miss here.. but throughout the day I do thank Him for having my dad still here to help me get through all of this... and most days when he comes back with April I am there to say hello with a kiss and a hug and steal a little talk when no one else is looking...

Yesterday was Father`s Day and as usual this family gathered together ... Flo made a awesome seafood chowder for the family... and Pat made a wonderful egg white (bird nest) dessert.... Of course none of us over ate at all.. ya right that would be a first.... thank God there is not too many of those gatherings... there would go my weight again... ohhh wait it went any way... back on watching what I am eat today... There are photos of the day but I didn`t upload them yet... but I will and put them up for all of you that was not here... then after lunch I had to go home to pick up dinner for Carl`s family... Flo making lunch a surprise Carl and I ended up with seafood twice yesterday... I made a seafood lasagna... rich food kills me... good but to top the dinner off Susan made a homemade ice cream cake very good, very deadly and I paid for it last night....
I actually think it was all the rick food eating that did it..

Carl is back to work today ... but not far enough for him to be away... so he will be home at night time...hmmmm which actually means I have to be home to make dinner for him.. .now that is a change... me making an evening meal... that doesn`t happen all that often when he is away....He took the week of mom`s death off... and then last week he had off because the work he does was not ready for him actually if it was not for another department of his office he wouldn`t be working as well but they had a job up this way and needed his help.. thank you very much... but that was not why I was writing about him.. it was last week I wanted to talk about.. I had not even finishing up last year`s plant removal when all of this started and in the mood I was in was not planning on doing it for a while... but Carl went out and got all of that fixed up... tilled and weeded all the flower beds for me... and must more around the yard...So when people tell me that my flower beds are great looking... I have to be honest about it all and say thanks to Carl they are... I bought two lamb`s ear plants and only got one planted... so you know the garden is out the window as well this year... we picked up some tomato plants and actually put them in the flower beds... because if you leave it up to me to water them all the way down the lawn they would never survive .... they do have a chance up this way ....So Carl is back to work and I am going to have to get backside in gear and keep up the flower beds... not sure if it going to happen but there could be a change... just need to force myself outside a few times and I should be back to my old self... what ever that is...

Well the blog I wrote this morning has about 10 more pages but I am not going to bore you all with all the details maybe another day... have a great one... tomorrow I am painting... will post photos ... Joanne

Some Healing Time

As promised but like usual late...

Master Costa... is the youngest of the Great grandchildren he is Monique youngest child...

And Nanna Vet who has so little time with him because he is in Montreal and she is her in New Brunswick took the time with him at every chance she had....

And this little one... and I am not talking about the one is the peach... the green ladies and gentlemen I am very happy and proud to say is my first grandchild... Caleb... as like Vet I have had very little time with him... but things are going to change on that one...

Caleb and Costa... not pleased that they are out of Mom/s arms but together...

Danie and Papa (when Danie comes home there is at least one photo of them together)

A kiss for you

And a kiss back to you...

Hey I want in on this.... (Lise)

Of course there is more munching going around here...

And as usually Danie has her little chat with Papa....

I need to correct something here.... Costa is not the youngest great grandchild attending this gathering... the youngest has no name.. nor face or sex... the bean is still growing in baby girl.... though Aunty is hoping for a little pink one... we will take what we can get and love it as we love all the grandchildren and great great grandchild...

As I said in the beginning of these blogs the gathering that day was out of sadness but I hope there was some healing through out the day... even if it was a little bit... because it was so great to see all the family together gathered in honor of someone we have loved for so long and even today as I sit here trying to type miss her so very much....

Now some people may think this is nuts but I am going to tell you any way.,... my mom is buried by the road... which Roger noticed and was very pleased about... because for many years mom use to sit in the front porch watching everything and everybody go by... often wondering who they were and why they were there...and more often sat in the porch or stood by the window of the door watching and waiting for the jeep to come back home when dad was out doing something always worrying that something might have gone wrong.... we placed some flower on her gravel this week... because she always loved flowers and often came out to weed with who ever was out there weeding.... and yesterday I placed a small humming bird feeder in the planter in hopes that one or two hummers will stop by to visit with her when we are not there...

One more thing that mom loved and we will never be able to do with her again was to touch... she loved it when someone was holding her hand... (which dad did for most of the day in the end) giving her a hug... or a kiss... and each day I go and sit with her... hoping that a hand cames out so I could just touch it once more....

The tears do flow very easy at this moment and I am sure they will for a very long time.... the pain no the emptiness in my heart is very strong at the moment... and it will be there for a long time I am sure.... but the one thing I will always be thankful for is the time I took to spend with my mom even when it was just to sit for 5 minutes to hold her hand, rub her feet or just lay (or is that lie not sure) my head on her knee so she could run her fingers through this mess of hair...

Session is done thanks for listening... Joanne

The Day After We Still Can Smile

Through the past week many tears, many memories come across our lips as we thought of our mother who passed away quietly on June 6, 2010 after 87 years of life... though her life was long our lost was painful and we miss her so very much....

Today was one of those says that mom would have called a perfect day... the sun shine, the warm was perfect and a slight breeze to keep the black flies aways... well almost all away...

So Carl and I went down to the wharf and picked up almost 100 pounds of lobsters... and spent most of the afternoon cooking them ask the family slowly came to gather at our homestead.... and some of our neighbors who were more like family then those who live across the way...

We took this day even though our hearts are still filled with sadness because of our great lost.

We took the time to have a great many smiles, laughter, lots of hugs and kisses for each other...

lobster, salads and refreshments...

Dad arrived after a well deserved nap this afternoon...

Pat got dad some special beer ....

And through out the afternoon the seat next to him was never empty as each of us came by to talk a little... smile.. and of course what he loved the most our hugs and kisses....

And little Costa slept his way through the afternoon with all the activity going on....

And many stood by as yet another lot of lobsters were cooking....all waiting for that special announcement....

Hubert took over my job of taking the cooked lobster out of the pot to cool them down...

And finally all were cooked and the announce was almost made.....

Hubert cracked all the lobsters that went on the table... so no one had too much of a problem to eat....

And eating with one picnic table meant where ever you could find a place.....

And then there were those who couldn't eat these delicious little creations....

And others sat and waited for their turn at the table....

Or made their own table....

Danie stood with bottle in hand and thanked everyone that took part in making this afternoon the one it became...

And Like a true New Brunswick er... she took her toast...

he he ....

There are more photos... but the time is growing late... so tomorrow there will be more... especially photos of our two new addictions to our family...

To end this I would like to copy a poem that Lisette read in Mass yesterday....

The Dash

I read of a man who stood to speak

at the funeral of a friend.

He referred to the dates on her tombstone

from the beginning... to the end.

He noted that first came her date of birth

and spoke the following date with tears,

but he said what mattered most of all

was the "dash" between those years.

For that dash represents all the time

that she spent alive on earth ...

and now only those who loved her

know what that little line is worth.

For it matters not, how much we own;

the cars... the house... the cash,

what matters is how we live and love

and who we spend out "dash".

So think about this long and hard

are these things you'd like to change?

For you never know how much time is left,

that can still be rearranged.

If we could just slow down enough

to consider what's true and real

and always try to understand

the way other people feel.

And be less quick to anger,

and show appreciation more

and love the people in our lives

like we've never loved before.

If we treat each other with respect,

and more often wear a smile...

remembering that this special "dash"

might only last a little while.

So, when your eulogy's being read

with your life's actions to rehash...

would you be proud to the things they say

about how you spent your "dash?

Candy, Glasse and Contacts... What a Mixture...

Last Tuesday when coming into the house I took my glasses out of my purse to find them in two... which is a major problem with me since I can't function without them... I knew that I had to go to my back up which was not very comforting because contacts and me have not really gotten along all that well... The longest I have been able to wear them was maybe 4 hours and out they came because of the itching and burning from them... I could walk around all day with my sunglasses but they were not for reading just driving...

For some strange reason the week before I made an appointment for a check up for my eyes and it was on Thursday.... well good news my eyes have gotten stronger not a lot but enough ... which also meant that the contacts that I was wearing were too strong as well.. .but I got through the days while waiting for the new contacts come in... and today was the day...My world for the last week has been a blur most of the time... I could drive but I had to be up close to read signs... I am thankful I didn't have to go out of town to a place I was not sure about ... then came the reading glasses since my contacts are only for distance... the ones that I had were too strong but nothing before or after that strength was looking any better... well this afternoon I went for my new contacts and all I can say not the new ones is OH MY GOD.... I can't believe how much of a blur I was in until now... I do need to go get new reading glasses tomorrow because I do believe these are too strong for me... but things without the reading glasses are so much more clearer... I actually went into the store on the way home to look around to read things off the shelf.. yes I know I am very strange at times....another strange thing this last week with the contacts is that I put them in, in the morning when I get up and don't remove them until bed... if I am in the wind I need to put drops but nothing else besides that... before this I would use almost a bottle in a few days of a few hours.. not sure what that is about but I am happy to say they are working out a lot better then I thought they would...I do missing watching TV until I go to sleep.. maybe that is good because I went back to reading...

On another topic I am a junk food junkie and for the last month or so I have been really bad... I have been giving in to the wants....which is really no good considering I am trying to lose weight....so Monday and Tuesday I was out shopping for Mom and Dad... and on my way home I have decided that Wal Mart is the worst place for people who doesn't want to be tempted... Whopper, strawberry marshmallow candy even the banana candy which is not always my favorite but will eat them if they are around... so with all the travelling around the last two days I patted myself on the back when I came home with two towels that were on sale instead of two large bags of candy... and spent the night saying why didn't I go looking for a small one instead... that wouldn't have been too bad... but this morning I was on the scale and seen that I had not lost or grained anything this week so I think even though I would have loved the strawberry candy to munch on while watching TV my reward was this morning...

Why this blog today... well I said to myself this morning that just the little things that we do in our lives can make or break things we are trying to do...but this afternoon as I was driving home looking at things in a totally new light with the new contacts I realized that my sight was so bloody important to me... I started thinking what the heck would I do without it... let a lone not being able to drive, but take photos would be out of the questions...see my wonderful grandson through the photos Robin post for me and so much more... After my eye appointment I stopped in to order new glasses and almost died when the total came up... that has changed today... these are things that I need to continue on with the life I lead... so no matter what the cost is at the moment may it be not getting my bag of candy I am still wanting ... or the cost of my glasses... somethings we can do without other things we can't ... I guess we just have to pick and choose which ones are more important in our lives...

Finally note I just downloaded a ton of photos of my sweet heart or as Robin calls him his trout... don't ask I didn't... so next one will be of my little Caleb... since I have been informed that some people have not seen photos of him since the baby shower...

Have a wonderful day all... Joanne

Mother's Day to my Mom

Wow sometimes I can really be silly or not think at all. Got a new computer and it took me until this morning to realize I can get to my blog through my account... When I came on here I had a comment waiting to be published... it made me go back to last year on Mother's day since I had no idea what I had wrote and of course being my father's daughter the tears are still with me as I write this blog... by the way Annie I am so glad you finally found my blog though I have not been writing all that much it in recently... welcome...



Each year for the last several years celebrated something here I also did it with as much energy as I could because I always believed that it could be the last year for it with mom and dad... little did I know last year when I did the blog it was actually the last year that we would be doing Mother's Day that it would be the last one that she would have remembered for a little bit.



Mother's Day is coming up this weekend and I am not even sure if I am going to take the time to do anything for it as mom doesn't even remember who I am or any of us are her children. Each time she is told that we are she looks with great surprise and then says... no she is not... she can't be... which is understandable because she also believes that Dad is her father at this time... Though I am thinking at the moment there is no use to doing anything it is still Mother's Day and even though she doesn't have a clue most of the time that I am her daughter she is still my mother.... Surprise Surprise Mom



So today this is for my mother who is here but not in so many ways....



For many years I didn't really know my mother... she was someone who cooked, cleaned, took care of all 7 of us...rarely did I see her smile or laugh... I knew that she loved us but very few times did she show it to us in the ways that I guess I needed to be shown... then May 26, 1997 she called to tell me that cancer entered our lives .... her hip had to be replaced. While she was in the hospital something that I had been waiting for, for many years happened .... I was 41 years old and I will never forget that evening for as long as I live... we were visiting her and as we were leaving she took her two hands placed them on each side of my face looked me straight in the eyes and announced in a very low voice that she loved me... it took me back because it was the first time that I could remember her ever saying these words to me... and I had been waiting for them for a long long time.... as she went through her treatment I watched on the side lines always being told that I had a family to look after and that would be the best way to help out... sorry guys but I really wanted to help my family or not this was my mom... but me being me stood on the side lines and watched as everyone else did what they had to do and I looked after my family...


That same year in November we lost Harold to an accident... she had just came back the day before from her last treatment.... the next morning I was at the house and once again those hands went to my face, her eyes looking into mine and she was once again willing to give herself up instead of Harold... Why him I have lived a good life? Was what she said to me... That was a moment of my heart being torn not sure if I would have wanted her out of my life but then I didn't want Harold gone either...


Then we found out that she had a tumor on her kidney and she choose not to do anything about it... they gave her 2 years... well people that was almost 5 years ago and she is still here... but through these years she has been faced with something worst then anything she had faced before (well in my eyes it is) the lost of her past and present.. not knowing who is who.. why things are happening... she is becoming more and more child like as each day goes by... she doesn't understand why she can't make herself understood to all that is in her life....

Most of my life I believed I didn't have a very strong relationship with my mother... but when I came back from Ontario and Roger needed to go back up North and asked me to stay here with mom and dad and I agreed to it. I didn't know that I was just keeping and eye out for them but it was the beginning of getting to know a woman that was in my life all my life for the first time in my life... I learned that she was very loving, caring and could be funny as heck... she had her moment like all of us but in the long run the woman I knew as my mother all my life was a heck of a lady as well... When things get rough and I come home at the end of the day... and I come to the computer to work on something useless my mind goes back to yesterday year and the times I have spent with mom cooking for Christmas or the summer visitors, our trips to the dollar store together or for a drive alone... our time spent waiting for appointments, our talks, hold her hand when she got nervous about what was going on with an appointment or just sitting out in the porch watching the birds and going ons in the neighbourhood... those are things that keep me going through even these days when I go up and sit with her to do her nails, or put cream on her feet because they are sore... these are things and times that will get me through the rougher days that I know that will be ahead... so on this note I will say A very Happy Mother's Day Mom... you are and will always be the best... Love Jo

Added Note
Though it was a busy day today with Mothers I had a mother moment as well that no gift will ever replace... Robin was up this weekend.. and we got to spend almost 3 hours together totally alone except for the dogs... and we sat at the kitchen table talked, laughed, and of course me being me had a few tears... it has been a long time since we had that much time for each other and I think no child could ever give a mother anything better then what he gave me tonight... his time and love... Thanks Hon.. Love you ...

I hope that all who are mothers that read this though it is late I wish the greatest Happy Mother's Day... other children are our greatest rewards in life even though at times we may think they can be the greats pains... but that is their jobs... and most of them do it very well...

Have a wonderful evening All I am going to bed Finally...